A GLIMPSE IN MY MIND DURING WORSHIP

Anyone who has worked at a church knows that it changes your mindset when you are at a worship service.  You can’t be totally engaged because you have things on your mind; things that you are worrying about. Things that might not even apply in that moment or deserve your attention but whether it is positive or negative, forward thinking or in the moment you aren’t able to focus all of yourself.  Is the system to blame, or is it you the employee?

This post isn’t even going to try and answer that question but today as I sat in our second service I had 50 things racing through my head as I tried to worship and be taught. For better or worse I thought I would share some of those things here for a glimpse inside my brain.

  • I am the student pastor so I was thinking about what was going on in the middle school class because I knew a new family was there and had 2 students who were forming their first impression of us.
  • The visiting family had a mom who I was told I needed to meet so I was scoping out where she and the family she came with were sitting
  • The gospel was presented in the service and a high school guy who has only been coming a few weeks went forward to give his life to Chirst.  Immediately I knew I had to talk to him about the road ahead and growing in his relationship with Jesus.
  • One of my HSM Grace group leaders who is a police officer was back for the first time since his car was struck and he had a bad concussion and took 2 weeks medical leave.
  • My wife is my better half and so I always want her connecting with women and girls who want to talk. I was determined that somehow I would go pick up our kids from Sunday school so that she could stay in the room and be available for people.
  • I lead a small group and there were two young couples 2 rows in front of me who looked about our age and I wanted to meet them, see how long they had been at the church and if they were looking for a grace group.
  • Speaking of small group I was sitting next to my co-leader and his family so I wanted to talk to them and his sister who lives in town but isn’t attending a church right now.
  • I also always have my entire group on the radar and want to touch base with anyone I can find.
  • Our friend Catherine and he husband Dave (top notch couple) were in town from Cincinnati for the first time since I was apart of their wedding and I wanted to touch base and see how they were and how marriage was treating them.
  • On top of that, I am always scoping the room for my main man Sean (coolest 8 year old ever), Ross Owen, Sarah Knepper, anyone else who wants to talk.
  • Of course you can’t help but be in constant evaluation mode of teaching, music, transitions, etc. But lets pretend I wasn’t thinking about that stuff today.

I am sure there are more and I am forgetting them.  Not proud of it, but for better or worse that is the chaos and not stop conversation going on in my head as I try to attend our worship services on most weeks. Whether you are on staff or a pastor or not can you relate to me? What is going through your head when you sit in church?

Its pretty amazing that our God is bigger than all this stuff and still draws us to himself and teaches us the things he intends in the time he intends. Our God is greater…in spite of me!